Karin Bartsch's Journals
Home is where we park our RV, our "house on wheels".......
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? ( written by kids )
"No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you are stuck with." - - Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Twenty-three is the best age, because you know the person forever by then." - - Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? "You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." - - Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? "Both don't want any more kids." -- Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? "Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." - - Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure?)
WHEN IT IS OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? "When they are rich." - - Pam, age 7
"The rules go like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do." - -Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." - - Anita, age 9
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? "There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?"--Kelvin, age 8
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? "Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck!" - - Name not readable.
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Two young kids are talking about their grandparents. The girl is explaining to the boy that her grandparents are currently living in a "Senior's RV Park". The boy wants to know what that is. The girl explains: "My dad says it's a place where the women are too old to get pregnant and the men look as if they are."
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Still groggy from an operation, the patient was in an agitated state. "Nurse," he moaned, "I heard the surgeon use a four-letter word, and it caused me great distress." "What did the surgeon say?" asked the nurse. "Oops." Richard Padwell ( Reader's Digest )
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I could handle THAT..... - for you, ladies
I received an email today from a friend in Tierra del Sol, which also showed a bear clinging to a tree next to the funny note you will read here. I omitted the image of the bear.
GONNA BE A BEAR
In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for 6 months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
When you're a girl bear, you birth your children ( who are the size od walnuts ) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definately deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup, gonna be a bear!
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From Andy Rooney - "60 Minutes" correspondent - CBS
In case you missed it, this is what Andy Rooney thinks about women over 40:
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch a game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are fortright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! Andy Rooney is a really smart guy.....
Two Ladies Talking in Heaven
1st woman: Hi! My name is Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! My name is Sylvia. How did you die?
1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible!
1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
1st woman: So, what happened?
2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer - - we'd both still be alive.
Life in a Mental Hospital
Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.
When the head nurse became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now concidered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said: "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you are being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by saving another patient. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but he is dead."
Edna replied: "He didn't hang himself. I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"
Careful what you wish for
An RVing couple, both born the same year and month, were celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been so loving she would grant them each one wish. Very excited, the wife said that since she had already visited most of North America in her RV she would like to visit Europe.
The fairy waved her magic wand - airline tickets instantly appeared in her hand. Then it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said with a sly look: "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me". The fairy waved her wand and presto - - he was 90!
